Jodie, although I honor myself by saying I am increasingly impressed with how much we hold in common, that is ok. I’m also learning to respect myself, warts and all. You need not come out of retirement to do the greatest teaching perhaps you have ever done. You do it now. You did it with this essay.
Are you familiar with Christian Sundberg? I strongly encourage you to Google him, and get his book, which I am now reading. You are teaching us exactly what he is saying from the perspective of remembering pre-birth reality. You and he are directly in sync, and can be a support for one another. Your support group is probably much greater than you may know,
It sounds as though you have another calling. I urge you, FOLLOW IT. We are never given a task without also being given the full capacity to perform it. You are free to reject it, but knowing you, you will, doubts and all, dive headlong into it. The only thing holding you back is the understandable difficulty of allowing doubt to try to hold you back. You are necessarily experiencing what you are teaching us to get past. You will end your doubts. You will follow your call. You will succeed, if you are willing to. I am confident you are so willing.
God speed.