OUT OF CONFLICT ARRISES PEACE

Sometimes conflict seems to be built into our systems. It is not. We chose it. Why? Conflict seems to ego to be a way of enhancement. Ego seeks to win, to feel good about itself. Ego thinks it is boss, and too often is right.

Conflict uses up energy and lives. Argument, anger, fight, war on battlefield or in the bedroom. A perceived need to win. If we refuse to create or participate in conflict, allow another to feel like a winner, we save our time and energy for creativity. Conflict tends to bring destruction, but not always. There are exceptions to every rule.

Some of my best childhood friends became friends as a result of school yard fights. We learned respect for one another. And, we were in equal trouble with the Principal.

War does not make friends. It kills them. Bedroom fights usually do damage to relationships. Argument is a waste of time and energy. If we refuse to take it personally, and are willing to recognize we might be wrong, a dialectic exchange becomes possible. I must remember, I must face the possibility that I am wrong, that I have something to learn.

Yes, conflict can be a good teacher, if we discover how to learn from it, and thereby extricate ourselves from it ASAP. Conflict for the sake of conflict is an illness. It leads to discomfort, and can kill.

Martial artist masters learn the best way to avoid being injured or having to cause injury is simply avoid the fight. Some, in seeking to avoid the fight, are accused of being cowards…