Robert, I have followed you closely, and have a few comments.
First, you are very intelligent and posses great integrity. You have far above typical courage.
I have been a student of Dr. Jung for nearly fifty years. I must assure you that if you have a share of “Jungian madness” it is simply an essential ingredient in your individuating process.
Dr. Jung tells us of the role played by the trickster in this process. This Jokester does not produce laughs until we identify him as the peculiar friend he really is.
You are your guide, your doctor. Follow your feelings with confidence.
Although you feel totally alone, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! To accomplish this current lesson, it is required you go through this difficult time just as you are. You are learning your lesson, accomplishing your goal. Not feeling that this is true is a necessary part of your studies
KNOW THIS: you are EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. That you find this difficult to believe is part of the lesson you are experiencing.
Take heart, my friend. Stay the course. Sail this “night sea voyage”, complete your “dark night of the soul”. This is your destiny, your calling. You are precisely on course, so again, stay your course. No darkness can capture you.