STICKS, STONES, AND WORDS

THEY ALL CAN HURT

When words hurt us, that is good. The pain carries a valuable lesson. Often, the lesson is we are taking ourselves too seriously. The words that bother us, that seem to insult, demean, bring a guilt trip, generally are not intended to do so. It is our interpretation that we allow to bother us. Even when the words are intended to stick a dart in us, the pain still is a result of our allowing the pain.

Why? Why do we allow the words, the opinions, of others to hurt us? Because we see ourselves as so very important we think others should always treat us with the respectful importance we think we deserve.

That is simply egocentricity. Me, me, me. Same is true when we after the hurt get angry or pout like a child. Me, me, me.

I suggest that, unless we see a good reason for the hurtful words spoken, we let the problem belong to the speaker. But also important is to consider, with as little emotion as possible, is there a good reason for those words, are we in need of an attitude or conduct adjustment that invited the hurtful words. If so, make the adjustment, and thank the critical but honest speaker.

When we feel unfairly criticized there may be a good reason for the criticism. In that case, the lesson is we need to be more aware of what and why we say and do what we do.

If we find no justification for the critical comment, we learn that perhaps the speaker has a problem, and we have allowed their problem to become ours when…